Are You Happy?

Something that caught me off guard the other week was when my partner hit me with the question “have you noticed that you’ve been really negative lately?” One, I didn’t expect him to be quite so blunt but then again, who else would have the balls to tell me that I’ve been acting like a miserable cow. Two, it made me come to the realization that I had indeed been feeling irritable, quick tempered, aggressive with a side of crippling anxiety. 

Kate Spade, Miss Guided

Like most individuals in my situation, the knee jerk reaction is to blame everyone around you, from your local courier to the cute toddler blowing raspberries at you whilst you’re trying to respond to an important email. I’ve often found myself taking things completely unrelated to me personally and even erecting a great defensive barrier (figuratively speaking) when constructive criticism is delivered with the purest of intentions. For those of you who don’t know my story then let me paint you a picture. I’m a 26 year old girl who up until three months ago had a steady 9 to 5 in a respectable bank that paid my never-ending bills, is currently familiarizing herself with the ins and outs of the divorce procedures of the beautiful Commonwealth of Australia and hold study/personal debts that could feed and shelter a small town in Africa for a year.

 

It wasn’t until I picked up the recent issue of Collective Hub in the quaint little town of Toowoomba and read Lisa Messenger’s editor’s note that I decided to write this post. Just like she had recently been confronted with a moment of forced reflection – I had also been struck with the same. It then dawned on me as I continued to read her words that if someone had asked me the very simple question of “are you happy?” that I wouldn’t be able to give an answer. Well not immediately. Why is that? Up until now, I am still trying to define what it is that truly makes me happy. More to the point, what I derived satisfaction from.

Style Code Live, WhippetIt’s such a simple and innocent question but how often is it asked and how often do people know exactly what makes them happy. I’m determined to prove that my emotional intelligence far outweighs that of my partner’s male whippet – Billy. He knows exactly what makes him happy; seeing his owner walk through that front door each day as though they had been separated for centuries, watching you walk to the fridge and reach for that dog roll, taking them for the same walk around the block for the fiftieth time – amongst a multitude of other facile undertakings that give him so much undeniable happiness.

My goal for the next three months is to take myself on the journey to defining what makes me happy and fulfilled as well as weeding out the negativity and issues that need to be addressed. Don’t worry you won’t be reading some cheesy keep your chin up, sh*t happens, f*ck the haters or believe in yourself spiels that make your ears bleed but rather an honest account of my journey through this indeterminate part of my life. It won’t be a series of posts where I walk you through my new materialistic possessions that I have purchased in an effort to mask my actual issues and problems. We all know these bandage solutions are as effective as Donald Trump’s argument that women like to be groped in the crotch.

Triangl Bikini, Hair Flip  Free People Playsuit  Smile, Rimmel London AU

I’ve managed to identify the key stress factors and one being my recent decision to alter my course of climbing the corporate ladder to working for myself and building myself in an industry that has become so exceedingly saturated over the last four years. My next post will explore how and why I came to the decision of leaving my job and how that has contributed to my unpredictable mood swings.MRP Fashion, Smile

If you have specific topics that you would like me to share my experiences on then feel free to leave your questions in the comments below and I will address each in my future posts where appropriate. If you’re shy then send me an email and I will anonymously reference your question in my posts!

 

I’ll break my rule for using clichés and sign off with this – when life gives you lemons, make yourself some f*cking lemonade and then share it with everyone.

Ok so I didn’t have a picture with lemonade but you get the gist. xoxo

Helen

Helen Chik is a Sydney based fashion, beauty, travel and lifestyle digital content creator and influencer sharing everything from unique style to her adventures around the world through her rainbow tinted lenses.

  • Helen!!! Omg, this post is incredible. So good I had to read it twice — once on my phone and once on my big iMac! You are such a huge inspiration to me and there really is nothing more attractive than someone in the industry being open and honest about what they are going through, too. I also often question myself asking whether I’m happy and I honestly don’t know what the answer is. Some days when things are going well it feels like I am but then there are always those other days where I’m feeling more “blah” and not so happy. I totally agree with you in regards to this whole fashion industry being super saturated and so hard to enter and make a sustainable long-term living out of! I started out doing modeling and honestly didn’t feel that fulfilled so I had to find a different outlet. Now, at this stage, I’m quite honestly still not too sure what I’m doing half of the time haha!

    Anyways, I guess regardless of what you do in life, there will always be ups and downs. Either way, you’re doing amazingly and your smile is definitely contagious! I can always count on you to make me smile 😉 I am actually really looking forward to your next post on why you decided to leave your 9-5 job and how you transitioned into doing what you’re doing now. I’m also interested in learning more about your day to day challenges you face and how you overcome them. It’s so easy to look at someone’s social feed and assume what an amazing life they live when they’re always smiling, taking pictures in front of colorful things, and traveling. Yet we all have our own battles and are just human at the end of the day 🙂 Thanks for being so down-to-earth and for sharing your journey with us. Never stop inspiring, love! Always rooting for you <3 xo, sharon

    http://www.stylelullaby.com/career/gig-industry-knowing-your-worth/

  • Fetch a great post thanks for being so vulnerable! Asking ourselves if we are happy is a great question that I think we don’t do often enough!

  • brownpaperdoll

    I loved this post Fawn! It’s great to read something so honest and refreshing about self-reflection. I can’t wait to keep reading! xo

  • What a great post girl! We become so consumed with everyday life that we forget to take a step back and reevaluate, especially when life gets crazy. Identifying what it is that’s making you unhappy/stressed is often the hardest thing, so you’ve overcome one of the most challenging steps already. I really enjoyed reading this post & i’m looking forward to reading the next one. From an outsider’s perspective, you’re doing an amazing job & your content/blog is truly inspiring. I hope you find what it is that’s missing & thanks for sharing your vulnerabilities, so many people feel the same xxx

  • kandja sylla

    Oh my!!! This is one honest and amazing post Helen! I just love how sincere you are in writing this article. I mean its not easy to know your stressors or things that made you feel unhappy. I don’t mind being updated with your goals for the next three months. You have always inspired me babe. xx

    http://www.prettyweirdbombshell.com/10-things-every-new-blogger-know/

  • Samantha Sito

    I love this post Helen- so true. I just went back to a 9-5 after doing the full time freelancer thing for about a year (not that long i know haha) but I totally understand what you mean by irritability and mood swings. Keep at it and can’t wait for the next post 🙂 Also you photos are stunning!

    Samantha
    http://www.otisamantha.com
    http://www.youtube.com/SamSitoTV

  • I love that you wrote about this Helen!! I feel like stepping away from a secure full time job to do this sort of work is so testing of your stress levels. For me I find the same things can tend to happen, fear creeps in, I get anxious or freaked out and my poor partner has to hear all about it. Not knowing exactly where and when the next paid gigs are coming in (sometimes these are at a lull, then everything comes in at once!) makes me so anxious. However, knowing that I am able to do what I love, share it with other people and enjoy those simple things that make me smile is all worth it. I am looking forward to reading how your journey gets on.

    xx Jenelle
    http://www.inspiringwit.com/

    • Let me tell you its been incredibly difficult to adapt to a lifestyle where your livelihood fluctuates so drastically as you’re trying to establish yourself! There will always be doubts but I felt that because I left my job and no longer had income security, I was forced to work harder for it!!

      Let me know if there’s anything specific you want me to write about xx

  • Rach

    I can totally relate! Sometimes we get so consumed with our lives we forget that we are not working on our happiness. I look forward to seeing more posts like this and reading about your progress! Thanks so much for sharing this Helen!

    http://www.rdsobsessions.com

  • I love your honesty in this post. I can relate to you as well, currently I have been very negative due to my latest temporary living condition, my work place has been difficult and i’ve been taking it out on everyone, especially my boyfriend (poor guy I owe him so much for putting up with me) I can’t wait to read more posts about your journey =o)

    http://dreamofadventures.blogspot.com/

    • Oh I’m sorry to hear honey! The most important thing you should remember that your partner is there to help you and listen so make sure you talk to him! If you need life advice, I can try to help where I can too! xx

  • Amy

    Love your style of writing, and congrats on making the leap to full time freelancer! I’m sure the decision wasn’t easy, but it’s amazing to see the brand and community you’ve built online in such a short amount of time. I love this post so much because it’s something everyone can relate to. Lately, I’ve been reading a lot about how the “quest for happiness” – and how maybe it shouldn’t be the end goal after all… curious to hear more of your thoughts as you continue this series.

    Can’t wait to read your follow up posts – I’ve loved getting to know you digitally (the beauty of the internet!!) even when you’re all the way on the other side of the globe. Keep doing you babe! (Sorry, I’m full of cliches, but hey they’re there for a reason, right?!)

    xx, Amy
    http://www.theluxilook.com

    • Thanks babe! I didn’t realise how much I enjoyed writing until recently!! I’m glad we’re on the same wave length in terms of our personal development though..

      I don’t think should be a quest for happiness as it is about satisfaction but being clear on what makes you happy is really important!

      Oh and don’t worry – I’ll be back in LA early next year 😉 xx

  • Paige Strand

    First of all love your style, second, love your style of writing/narration, and third, love your web design 🙂

  • Love this personalized post! I’ve been feeling stressed anxious and negative myself lately! Good for you for exploring your happiness! I’m going to go look for mine too!
    Kyla
    Wanderlustkyla.com

  • What a wake up call! I’ve been super negative too lately, and I think the stress of blogging can contribute to that. It’s important to take a step back and re-evaluate how we’re feeling!

    Chelsea
    Chow Down USA
    Instagram

  • Nadia

    Thank you so so much for sharing this personal post and boy, I am so happy you did, sweetie!! Can I just right away that I admire you and so excited that you’re on a journey to find your happiness and define “happy” for yourself. I am absolutely freaking out at the thoughts of going full time into the world of blogging & social media because at the moment I make so little off it I wouldn’t even be able to feed a mouse (if I had one living with me lol). I do want to dedicate more work to it and invest more time into it and make it work!! I honestly can’t wait to read more of your posts, hon. I am cheering for you & I believe you will have all your goals conquered!! <3
    xox Nadia
    http://www.mielandmint.com

    • Thank you so much honey for your words and I am always happy to share my experiences with girls around me because I know there are thousands of girls out there who are going through the same experience in some form or another! If you have anything you want me to write about particularly then let me know!! xx

  • Another great post Helen, and I’m excited for your next one!! I think your 3 month plan on discovering what makes you happy/fulfilled is amazing! I love jotting down things of what I’m grateful for. I look back on it every few days and it always puts a smile on my face and keeps me motivated and positive all the time!:) xx- Mitra

    http://www.leopardcouture.com

  • Great post. It’s a very real, yet simple question that often leads to the so much more thought and self reflection. I always count my blessings and tell my hubs how much I appreciate him, but never really thought of asking myself what in particular makes me happy but it actually provides so much clarity and drive to get there. Thanks for sharing this post!

    Xo,
    Miki
    http://mikialamode.com

  • Rina Doria

    Loving the post Helen. I think it’s a great reminder to any of us in a similar position, whether that may be through work or personal life and such. I have found myself in similar predicaments lately where I can be very snappy and my hubby has made comments as well. I know what makes me happy and what doesn’t and I know I also tend to take on way too much and think I can accomplish everything in 2-3 hours that one has a full work day to do (working 5-6 days a week on top of full time blogging). I have to remind myself that I’m human and accept that there are only 24 hours in a day (and that won’t change no matter how much I complain about it =p) and I should spend 7-8 of those hours sleeping. It’s always nice to see and be reminded that we are all human. Keep rocking it babe!

    XOXO Rina
    http://www.andshedressed.com

  • Kelly Alex

    Love this post so much! We need to question ourselves more and find out what really makes us happy and stop doing it if it doesn’t. Thanks for sharing pretty!

  • Great post! It’s refreshing to read something so candid and that most of us go through. Look forward to reading more. ☺️

  • I love this post, Helen, and think that you are so brave for taking a different path away from the corporate world. I’m sure that it will all work out in time to come and you’ll walk away with so many life lessons 🙂 Looking forward to the next set of related posts! xx

  • Love your photos! Great post!

    http://curlyjosephine.blogspot.ba/

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